In the words of Monty Python, “...and now for something completely different!”
"The Polka Of Death" is one of my favourite songs, for a variety of reasons, beginning with the title. The song had a peculiar genesis, but now that I think of it, the process was not so different from the process that led to “The Far Saskatchewan”: in both cases a single phrase started the wheels turning. Somewhere I encountered the sentence fragment “Every one is equal ...” and of course I mentally completed it in all the more conventional ways: “Every one is equal before the law. Everyone is equal in the sight of God.” But then another insight popped into my mind, from wherever these things come from. Everyone is equal ...in the Polka Of Death. Of course! It’s beautiful because it’s true.
Throughout the ages, humans have speculated about what may happen after death. Often these speculations have featured music – the harp, the lyre, choirs of angels. But surely ethereal serenity is not the whole story. For truly cosmic exuberance – for an afterlife with some pizazz – you can’t beat the polka.
For death is not a lonesome vale
where guilty souls are straying
It's much more like the Sunset Lounge
And Lawrence Welk is playing!
I had a lot of fun writing this song, imagining a gleeful postmortem party where everyone is a good dancer and no one lacks a partner; where the dear departed polka across the Universe and never get tired.
Accordions and clarinets will sound the cosmic carol
While every spiral galaxy is rolling out the barrel!
If writing “The Polka Of Death” was fun, recording it was a blast. Of course we had to have accordion and clarinet, which the supremely gifted Alex Vlamis and Ian Babb supplied with gusto. We sat around in James Stephens’ studio working out how many polka references and flourishes we could work in, and laughing ourselves silly. Alex brilliantly (and impudently) transitioned from
Bach to
Lawrence Welk in the accordion’s opening sally, and managed to integrate first Beethoven's Ode To Joy and eventually the
Dies Irae with the Beer Barrel Polka-ish shenanigans. Ian’s clarinet playfully and brilliantly wove the whole thing into a magnificent polka layer cake. I think I wept for joy.
Admittedly it’s not everyone’s idea of Heaven, but wouldn’t it great if it were one of the options?
But when at last you’ve passed away
Your soul will shine in gold lamé
You’ll hear the band begin to play
And tears will be forgotten
(from the CD
“Practical Man” – Mylodon Music)
(Piano & Accordion: Alex Vlamis; Clarinet: Ian Babb; Drums: Peter Von Althen; Electric Bass: James Stephens; Harmony Vocals: Alex Vlamis, James Stephens, Tom Lips)
